How do you know you’re Becoming French?! 20 more ways
When you…
- have an Opinel or three
- know that seeing and hearing a rumbling mass of military planes and helicopters in the Paris sky around July 11 is not an invasion but a rehearsal for the Bastille Day parade… that Bastille Day not only is not the name of the holiday in France but are words that mean absolutely nothing to a French person
- find creative, inspiring solutions to any problem…but only at the last minute
- know what Système D is (and what the D stands for!)
- have at least two pairs of espadrilles in your closet
- know what PSG stands for, the full name of the SG in question, what OM has to do with PSG, and what OM stands for
- iron your plain white t-shirts and jeans–then wear them with outrageously expensive perfume
- make the last item on your grocery list a gigantic bouquet of flowers
- have underwear items that match not only each other but also what you’re sporting on top of them
- drink your morning coffee (or hot chocolate) from a bowl (Yes! A real bowl. [Tea, somehow, stays in a cup.])
- say bon appétit to everyone you see with food
- no longer switch your knife and fork for cutting/eating purposes (That’s how German spies were caught in the U.S. during WWII: Their spymasters had forgotten to tell them that Americans switch.)
- do not–that’s: not–ask for ice in your cola or water
- eat pizza (and, while you’re at it, chicken legs and hamburgers) with a knife and fork
- have a favorite chef–and a favorite film director
- are shocked when Christmas decorations appear as early as November
- do not respond to an e-mailed question until you have the answer: if you never have the answer, you never respond!
- feel that one scoop of ice cream (the size of a golf ball) is enough, one cup of coffee (the size of a thimble) is enough, one muffin (that is not the size of a dinner plate) is enough
- give up on Doe (as in John) and use Dupont or Durand
- figure out how to wash your entire back with a “washcloth” that is really a small terrycloth glove while not spraying the whole bathroom with the hand-held telephone-shower head
by Shari Leslie Segall, a writer who lives in Paris and Lisa Vanden Bos, who has still not mastered the “telephone-shower head“
Did you like this article? Then you’ll LOVE the book 90+Ways You Know You’re Becoming French. Visit the FUSAC Boutique to order your copy or ask for it at these fine shops:
- Brentano’s (37 av de l’Opéra – 75002)
- Bring France Home (3 Rue de Birague – 75004)
- Librairie Eyrolles Travel dept. (61 bd Saint-Germain – 75005)
- Shakespeare & Co.
- BLA Librairie-Papeterie (161 rue de Grenelle – 75007)
- Le Parchemin (176 rue de Grenelle – 75007)
- Papeterie de l’Ecole Militaire ( 41, avenue de la Motte-Picquet – 75007)
- Les Parisettes (10 rue Gramme – 75015)
- Bill & Rosa’s Book Room / FUSAC office (42 rue du Chemin Vert – 92100 Boulogne, Porte de St Cloud) Open Wed & Thurs 13-18h
